I'm also transmasculine (and agender, in my case) and have gone through social, legal, and medical transition. I can definitely relate to your concerns about having to practice misogyny in order to be read as male, and about being misread as a trans woman. Even in supposedly trans-friendly San Francisco, it's a constant balancing act.

Below is what I wrote at the five-year point in my transition. It's now been nine years, and things haven't really improved, sad to say:

Five years in transition