I was relatively thin when I began my gender transition four years ago, and as a consequence my chest size was pretty small. I’ve gained over 20 pounds since then, and am constantly worried that people will misgender me as female because of my visible breasts. I refuse to wear a binder—the one time I tried one on it felt like a straitjacket, and I had a panic attack —and I don’t think I should have to subject myself to surgery for something that society, not me, has a problem with. But losing enough weight to, hopefully, shrink to a small chest size again isn’t the easiest thing to do either, especially when depression and dysphoria have made it increasingly difficult for me to leave the house to exercise.

The idea that being “neutral” or “androgynous” means one must be thin and flat-chested (and likely clean-shaven, free of body hair, and fair-skinned to boot) is harmful and needs to be abolished. Trans and non-binary people are under enough stress and discrimination as it is, without needing the pressure — often coming from within the community as well as from cis people — of conforming to someone else’s idea of the ideal body type.