Carrying Our Genders In Our Wallets

My non-binary identity cannot be reduced to a single letter on a piece of plastic.

Recently, the California Department of Motor Vehicles sent me a notice that my state ID card was up for renewal. I was eligible to renew online, but if I wanted to upgrade to a Real ID, I had to visit a DMV office in person. I stalled on making the decision. I knew that a Real ID or passport would soon be required for boarding airplanes in the U.S., but I am not a frequent flyer, and am aware of the security and privacy concerns expressed by many about this new form of identification.

Ultimately, I decided to upgrade, and just in time too, as there was a backlog of more than two months for DMV appointments in the San Francisco Bay Area. I began filling out the online application offered to streamline the process. On the “Basics” page, I stopped at a question that most people would answer without thought or hesitation: “What is your sex?”

Screenshot from the California DMV identification card application. The text reads “What is your sex?” with the options of “Female”, “Male”, and “Nonbinary”, and explanatory text about changing gender categories.

Five years ago, I changed my legally-recognized sex from female to male, and changed all of my identification cards accordingly. However, my gender is actually non-binary; I identify as an agender trans male, not a man. The distinction might seem confusing or subtle — or even downright ridiculous to many — but it is important to me. (Note that “sex” and “gender”…