At Birth: Who I Was vs Who I Am

More thoughts on documenting name and gender changes

In a recent story where I explained why I am not planning to update my state ID to show a non-binary gender marker, I said that I already changed all of my identification documents from female to male five years ago. However, this is not quite true. One particular form of identification that I have not updated, and do not plan to, is the very first that was issued in my lifetime: My birth certificate.

When I was born in 1970, I was assigned female and given conventionally feminine first and middle names based on the external appearance of my genitals— i.e., I appeared to have a normal-looking vulva, and no penis or testicles. That sex and name were recorded in the birth registry and printed on my birth certificate. I have no real problems with these actions that took place.

While I was never fond of my deadname (birth-assigned name), it was a variant on the name of a deceased male relative, following a Jewish tradition on my father’s side of the family. No one could have foreseen that just seeing or hearing my deadname would cause me distress decades later, or that I would so thoroughly distance myself from my birth family that I would legally change my last name along with the rest.

And while I am still not fond of my vulva (which is not nearly so easy to alter as a name!), I recognize that the vast majority of infants with vulvas grow up to be cisgender females: Girls and women who agree…